Dating App Review: Hinge

I should preface this by saying that I don’t have any problem with how anyone chooses to meet/find a significant other. Maybe you met while chatting over different types of cheese at the grocery store (Does this happen IRL? Idk, not to me) or maybe you found them via tinder and a drunken booty call blossomed into so much more. In my opinion neither option is more or less valid for starting a relationship than the other. But for some reason dating apps as a concept just never appealed to me. I don’t even like talking to my friends on my phone so was I really going to give a shit about talking to Bill from South Carolina who looks like an 8 in some pics but a solid 3 in others? However, I had heard good things about Hinge, so being the flirty and fun girl that I obviously am I decided to invest the two minutes of my life it took to set up the app.

The general concept of Hinge is that you connect through Facebook and it only lists people with whom you have mutual friends. So obviously my immediate fear was that it was going to try and set me up with those guys who you kind of know from school maybe because they fucked your friend or something, but you don’t know each other well enough to acknowledge it or friend each other on FB? Anyway not a real concern on Hinge because most of the guys I got I had about 1-2 mutual friends with on Facebook. I would think that this wide of a net would include pretty much every single guy in the world but apparently it doesn’t.

Because it connects through Facebook, you can only use pictures from your profile, but it allows you to put up 16. I like this because it gives me the opportunity to show myself up close/looking hot but also climbing mountains and other shit that shows what a cool chick I am. However, you are not required to do all 16 pics, so there will be the occasional profile with only two or three (RED FLAG RED FLAG). Another thing you can do on your profile is pick out fun hashtags that show how fun you are, such as “beer snob” “road tripper” or “after partier.” I picked out all three of these examples so I guess I’m a douche. You can also add an “About Me,” your height, religion, ethnicity, favorite date spots, and what you’re looking for. Though I elected to skip most of these tid-bits, a lot of guys included an About Me and their height. I appreciate this because it gives me more material from which to judge them. Heads up for guys- an about me can truly make or break you. For example if your about me says: “Work hard, play harder. Hit me up for something real” IDGAF if you look like Bradley Cooper you are getting the X. Conversely, I may be on the fence about your looks, but a line in your About Me that mentions your love of dogs and 90’s music may just be the clincher.

The nuts and bolts aside, I definitely found a higher caliber of guy on Hinge than on, say, Tinder, the only other dating app I have half-assedly downloaded. Almost everyone was a doctor or lawyer and none of them were atrocious looking. These are positives because I am shallow. I found myself giving the guys hearts about 50% of the time as opposed to .2% of swipe rights on Tinder. So I liked that overall it was a lot less work. The downside one could argue is you only get a handful of new guys each day, probably around 5. To me, this was preferable as, again, it’s less work, but if someone wanted to spend hours of their day perusing potential suitors this would not be the app for them.

My biggest complaint was about the conversation to date ratio. It seemed like everyone wanted to “chat” (UGH) for like three weeks on this stupid ass app before even inviting me to a free dinner. I mean maybe my charm is not coming through appropriately on this forum, but seriously, weeks? If we exhaust every possible angle of small talk before we even meet in person, wtf am I supposed to say to you on a date? I already know everything there is to know about your boring ass life! Because of all this feet dragging I found Hinge to eat up way more of my time than I intended it to. In my opinion, the app should merely exist as a forum to get initial contact with another person where there is a mutual attraction and interest. Not to talk about how my fucking Tuesday afternoon is going. It’s the same as last Tuesday, Jim, now just buy me a fucking cocktail.

One thought on “Dating App Review: Hinge

  1. Girl. I’m a guy and whenever I invite girls Ive met on Tinder for dinner or drinks they never respond. I thought it was because I asked too fast, by the fourth or fifth text. So what the fuck then?


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