In light of the alarmingly high number of mass shootings that have been happening lately in the good ol’ US of A, I’ve compiled a list of some of the most *charming* responses from current GOP presidential candidates. Enjoy!
“I have had a gun held on me when I was in a Popeye’s organization… Guy comes in, put the gun in my ribs. And I just said, ‘I believe that you want the guy behind the counter.’” – Ben Carson
Ben Carson, what are you even saying? You survived a potential mass shooting by basically saying “please shoot that other guy instead?” How is that a good thing? It’s also really funny that he referred to Popeye’s as “a Popeye’s organization” as if he was at corporate headquarters or something. However, I will say I would love to blow a blunt and get some chicken with Ben Carson.
“I would not just stand there and let him shoot me. I would say, ‘Hey guys, everybody attack him. He may shoot me, but he can’t get us all.’ ” – Ben Carson
Okay, are you rolling right now? No one is asking you for tactics for surviving a shooting, they’re asking you what you’re going to do to prevent another one… Also, can you imagine someone with a gun to their head being calm enough to utter the words “hey guys?”
““If anyone is at all serious about changing any of this, they must address the root problems, and those are cultural decay, the glorification of evil, the devaluation of human life, the breakdown of the family, and specifically the complete abdication of fathers.” – Bobby Jindal
Ahhhhh, it wouldn’t be an election year without Bobby Jindal making us all feel guilty about our godlessness. Single mothers are the real problem here! Hetero Christian nuclear families for the win!
“If you had a couple of the teachers or somebody with guns in that room, you would have been a hell of a lot better off.” – Donald Trump
Definitely. We should definitely just have teacher vs. strange gunman shoot-offs in our classrooms every day. I don’t see a problem with that.
“Stuff happens.” – Jeb Bush
Yeah, like you losing the 2016 election.
“I spent many a night pulling bullets out of bodies. There is no doubt that this senseless violence is breathtaking—but I never saw a body with bullet holes that was more devastating than taking the right to arm ourselves away.” – Ben Carson
Is this guy fuckin’ serious?