Bachelor Recap: Episode 4

Is it just me or did this episode feel like we were a lot further along in the season than episode 4? Maybe it’s because they’re traveling, maybe it’s because I have strong favorites already, or maybe it’s just that the women are getting pathetically obsessive and dramatic earlier than usual this year? And as…

Bachelor Recap: Episode 3

This was a particularly juicy episode, so let’s get down to business. We open with a great Olivia shit-talking session, featuring Amanda and Lauren B., which really sets the tone for this catty-as-fuck episode. God, I cannot imagine what it would be like if cameras captured every shitty thing you said about another person. I…

Bachelor Recap: Episode 2

Episode 2 of this season was a classically predictable, borderline boring installment of The Bachelor. We open with one of the twins stating “Ben is the greatest bachelor on the planet of history.” Well then, moving on. I hate nothing more about this show than when they have all the women stand on a balcony…

Shit White People in New Orleans Like

I’m a white person in New Orleans and I like most of these things, but hey, let’s have a laugh about it. Dancing too hard to brass music White people in New Orleans like brass music, but they love making sure everyone knows it. Charter schools Somehow, the liberal New Orleans crowd decided that privatizing…

Bachelor Recap: Episode 1

The most dramatic, controversial, and widely-anticipated season of The Bachelor premiered last night to the collective oohs and aahs of middle-aged housewives ’round the world. Though I personally found it to be a mediocre premiere, one thing did not disappoint. I’m gonna go ahead and call it, Ben Higgins is the hottest bachelor we’ve seen,…