I’m a white person in New Orleans and I like most of these things, but hey, let’s have a laugh about it.
Dancing too hard to brass music
White people in New Orleans like brass music, but they love making sure everyone knows it.
Somehow, the liberal New Orleans crowd decided that privatizing education was a good idea, and they’ve never looked back. Basically every 22 year-old I know is responsible for a classroom of children at this point.
Expensive non-profit fundraisers
I can show off my new dress *and* my unwavering generosity and compassion at the same time? I’m there.
“There’s just something magical about this crazy city.”
Of course we have crop tops for days, but we also have $50 ill-fitting watermelon-printed Jazz Fest shirts and cool dads in straw fedoras.
This one allows us to explore the nature of two very different types of white New Orleanians. The real committers move to the Bywater and stop using deodorant; the preppier folks live uptown but venture into the Bywater once a month for a *~*little Instagram adventure*~*
If you’re from New Orleans, fine, be a Saints fan. It makes sense. But I will never understand Nola transplants who *become* Saints fans because they live here now. That’s not how shit works. Who dat? Your home team, you bandwagon assholes.
Whether you frequent the Dauphine or Maple Street location, this one’s for you. Eat that avocado toast, gurl.
Just ethnic enough to work.
Rescued pit bulls
You guys, pit bulls are like, so misunderstood.
You mean to tell me I can wear my $128 leggings to a high energy spin-class taught by a Tulane Kappa before doing some kombucha shopping at the Whole Foods across the street? I’M IN!
Being extras in movies/tv shows
Were you an extra in Scream Queens or 22 Jump Street? Join the club.