Shit White People in New Orleans Like

I’m a white person in New Orleans and I like most of these things, but hey, let’s have a laugh about it.

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Cool paddy hat, lady. Did you get it on a soul-searching trip to Southeast Asia?

Dancing too hard to brass music

White people in New Orleans like brass music, but they love making sure everyone knows it.

Charter schools

Somehow, the liberal New Orleans crowd decided that privatizing education was a good idea, and they’ve never looked back. Basically every 22 year-old I know is responsible for a classroom of children at this point.

Expensive non-profit fundraisers

I can show off my new dress *and* my unwavering generosity and compassion at the same time? I’m there.

Hashtagging #followyournola

“There’s just something magical about this crazy city.”

Festivals/festival apparel

Of course we have crop tops for days, but we also have $50 ill-fitting watermelon-printed Jazz Fest shirts and cool dads in straw fedoras.

The Bywater

This one allows us to explore the nature of two very different types of white New Orleanians. The real committers move to the Bywater and stop using deodorant; the preppier folks live uptown but venture into the Bywater once a month for a *~*little Instagram adventure*~*

Saints bandwagon

If you’re from New Orleans, fine, be a Saints fan. It makes sense. But I will never understand Nola transplants who *become* Saints fans because they live here now. That’s not how shit works. Who dat? Your home team, you bandwagon assholes.

Satsuma

Whether you frequent the Dauphine or Maple Street location, this one’s for you. Eat that avocado toast, gurl.

Pho

Just ethnic enough to work.

Rescued pit bulls

You guys, pit bulls are like, so misunderstood.

Romney Ride

You mean to tell me I can wear my $128 leggings to a high energy spin-class taught by a Tulane Kappa before doing some kombucha shopping at the Whole Foods across the street? I’M IN!

Being extras in movies/tv shows

Were you an extra in Scream Queens or 22 Jump Street? Join the club.

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5 thoughts on “Shit White People in New Orleans Like

  1. Some of these are dead on, But you didn’t mention Mardi Gras, upper class whites I’m in the category, over spend over drink and love to ride, you also failed to mention tail gating hello no one does that shit better

    Like

  2. I’d give a pass to the ‘Saints bandwagon’ fans. Perhaps a better sports reference would have to do specifically with all the Drew Brees love. Everything else, though, is pretty much spot on!

    Like

  3. Should have a line about “showing up to protest noise ordinances and high-rises but literally nothing else in municipal government”

    Like

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