Welcome all to Dumb Shit Celebrities Did, where we judge, rant, and debate about the trivial comings and goings of rich, pretty people. 90% of our personal text thread does this anyway, so we figured we’d kill two birds with one stone and blog it! If you think this all sounds vapid, irrelevant, stupid, and petty, you’re right and you should probably stop reading now. Bye! Check in every Sunday for more!
This week, celebrities did a LOT of dumb shit.
Taylor Swift vs. Calvin Harris, Katy Perry, Kim K, Internet trolls of the world
Summary: Since Taylor and Calvin’s break up, tensions had risen, but up until now had only taken the form of passive aggressive Instagram deleting. This week, however, Taylor Swift’s rep confirmed a widespread speculation that she had written “This Is What You Came For,” Calvin’s latest dumb party song or “totes the song of the summer” depending on your taste/age. This caused Calvin to go on a confusing twitter rant against Taylor Swift, which suggested Taylor was out to get him and referenced the takedown of Katy Perry circa 2014. After everyone started losing their shit, Katy Perry put out a couple vague tweets which seemed to suggest that she’d called it on the Taylor-Is-Evil front a while ago. Meanwhile, Kim K is still pissed about the fact that Taylor denies giving the okay to Kanye for his song “Famous,” and discusses both in GQ and KUWTK that Taylor gave the green light in a phone conversation and then played the victim when the song came out. Now everyone’s commenting snake emojis on Taylor’s insta because they think she’s an evil conniving snake! Oh my.
E: LEAVE TAYLOR ALONE!!! Yes I get the old adage that where there’s smoke there’s fire, but I’m so sick of this constant pendulum swing of liking or hating Taylor Swift. She’s honestly never done much to warrant the constant backlash other than people who just have a “feeling” she’s “annoying” or “fake.” And who are our sources here? Calvin Harris, her ~clearly~ disgruntled ex who’s acted like a giant crybaby since their break-up. Maybe handle your relationship issues like an adult, Calvin, rather than bashing your ex on Twitter like a 12 year-old. Katy Perry, who shares a dumb yet long-standing feud with Swift, and whose tweets on the matter are always so passive aggressive they make me want to scream. And Kim Kardashian, who is married to Kanye West, aka the one who rapped about having sex with TS in said song, aka known crazy person. Honestly Kim is the most reliable one in this bunch, and I still don’t buy it. She wasn’t the one who talked to Taylor on the phone. Have you guys ever played the game “telephone?” Haven’t we learned that lesson? Where is this supposed footage? And really, in what world does very public feminist Taylor Swift give the okay to a rap lyric suggesting Kanye West will have sex with her and also made her famous? Seriously how would that ever happen?!?!?
M: I too get exhausted with the Taylor hate. Sure, there are times I’ve rolled my eyes at Tay’s antics, but she’s just too easy of a target for all this venom. I don’t know enough about Calvin Harris to trust his word and his tweets lack proper grammar so I’m siding with Swifty in that particular drama. However, when it comes to Kim vs. Taylor, I’m all Kim. Now, when “Famous” first came out, I felt really bad for Taylor. The lyric is gross and mean – again, she’s too easy of a target and it feels like bullying. Couple that with the sexual tone and it’s borderline harassing. Also, Kanye West most certainly did not make Taylor Swift famous. She was already really fucking famous. Ugh, I still love that song though. Am I a bad feminist? Anyway, When Kanye claimed Taylor approved the lyric, I didn’t really buy it. Kanye’s an unreliable source and it didn’t seem very Taylor-y. After reading Kim’s feature in GQ, though (bomb article by the way), my mind changed. Kim claims that on her call with Kanye, Taylor said “When I get on the Grammy red carpet, all the media is going to think that I’m so against this, and I’ll just laugh and say, ‘The jokes on you, guys. I was in on it the whole time.’” To me, that screams Taylor Swift. I mean, who the fuck knows? Everyone in Hollywood is a truly reprehensible liar, but for some reason, I trust Kim Kardashian. Maybe it’s because she quite literally hides nothing from the general public.
Jordan Rodgers reveals estrangement from brother, Aaron Rodgers, on The Bachelorette
Summary: Lol did you think we wouldn’t find a way to talk about The Bachelorette? Aaron Rodger’s little bro, Jordan, frontrunner contestant on The Bachelorette, had a one-on-one date this week. He discussed his family and the fact that he doesn’t talk to his famous brother, to the point that Aaron didn’t even know he was going on the show. Jordan seemed to blame the disconnect on Aaron and the “lifestyle” that he’s chosen, but stated that he still loves his brother and understands he deals with a lot of pressure.
E: This is a tough one, because Jordan is such a turd I don’t want to take his side on anything. But we do have evidence that the rift seems to be between Aaron and the rest of his family, not just Aaron vs. Jordan. If it were just the two brothers fighting, I’d chalk it up to Jordan being a scummy person and cheating on his ex-girlfriend/close friend of Olivia Munn. However, the family rift seems to be related to other events, such as Aaron not showing up to the wedding of a family friend, and Olivia talking openly about their sex life when his family is very conservative. Aaron has stayed mum on the subject, but I’m anxious to find out more from the rest of the Rodgers fam.
M: Fuck Jordan Rodgers. I agree that the two-versus-one thing looks suspicious, but I do not trust a word that comes out of that little fuckhead’s mouth. Also, I despise the narrative of the conservative family’s disapproval of their precious son’s harlot of a girlfriend who dares to discuss mildly sexual topics in public. Fantasy Suites are almost upon us, Rodgers Family! Are you going to have a similar reaction to your youngest son fucking a woman (who he’s not even exclusively dating) on TV? Doubt it. Discount Double Check™ for life.
Victoria Beckham kissed her daughter Harper and posted it on Instagram.
Summary: That’s literally it.
E: Why is this news? Why are people freaking out? I think it’s really creepy that anyone would question/sexualize this….like if you see a pic of a mom kissing her LITTLE BABY DAUGHTER and that’s where your mind jumps, maybe look in the mirror and go to therapy because you got some serious mommy issues. The Beckhams are the most adorable celebrity family to walk the planet (Ok tied with the Neil Patrick Harris clan) and shame on anyone for ruining a cute pic of them with NONSENSE.
M: Agreed. It is truly repugnant that anyone would have a problem with this. I kissed my 93 year-old great-grandpa on the mouth until the day he died because that is just how some families interact with each other. The Duggars “side-hug” each other because they’re so terrified of anything even slightly resembling affection, meanwhile, the oldest boy was diddling his little sisters the whole time. This is a super dumb non-problem. Kiss your families.
Hiddleswift: Real or Fake
Summary: I mean sorry for another Swift-related event but ya’ll can’t keep her outcha damn mouths. Taylor recently began dating actor Tom Hiddleston in a very visible, PDA-filled manner, jetting around to four different continents and meeting each other’s families. At her 4th of July bash, he was spotted wearing a t-shirt that reads “I ❤ T.S.” This type of behavior and the sudden nature of this relationship have led many to believe that this is not in fact a relationship but some elaborate PR stunt that will culminate in some piece of art such as a music video or perhaps a visual album a la Lemonade.This week, however, Hiddleston confirmed that the relationship was real to the media.
E: I love conspiracy theories. I love them even more when they involve celebrities. And I don’t think Hiddleston’s denial of these theories means anything. (I mean if you’re involved in a conspiracy you gotta deny the conspiracy right?) But as much as I want to believe it, it seems a little far-fetched. Would they really involve Tom Hiddleston’s grandmother? Would there really be all this anger from Calvin Harris? Couldn’t Taylor just shoot him a text being like chill out it’s fake? Or is that all part of it too? Idk I’m lost.
M: I simply cannot bring myself to care. The relationship is probably legit. If she’s using him for a music video, that sucks because he’s not that hot. Also, that t-shirt was horrifying.