The Bachelor Recap: Episode 5

HEY YA’LL. THIS WEEK LES UH HEAD ON DOWN TA N’AWLINS, WHERE THEY GOT DAT SPOOKAY VOODOO MUMBO JUMBO AND THE GATORS SNAPPIN’ IN DA BAYOU AND THE MYSTICAL SPIRITS OF LIL ANTEBELLUM GHOST CHILDS. I DO DECLARE! Sorry. I actually didn’t hate the dates this week as much as I expected to, with the…

Introducing Bipartisan Buddiez

Welcome to the inaugural segment of Bipartisan Buddiez! Hey everyone! Marisa here – one of the two distinguished bitches behind D&H. I’ve always been a pretty political person. Before the 2016 election made me want to hang up my boots (and die) forever, I actually used to consider politics one of my life’s greatest passions.…

The Bachelor Recap: Episode 4

My apologies for the late recap. I was busy doing more important things like running a multi-million dollar company. Oh just kidding, that’s not something I do, and neither does Corinne. As much as I don’t want to discuss Corinne, ABC appears committed to relentlessly shoving her down our throats until we’re subdued into a zombie-like…

The Bachelor Recap: Episode 3

There are a few things in this life that I have very little patience for. One is old men I don’t know telling me to smile. Two is women who pee on the toilet seat in public restrooms (I literally don’t understand what you’re doing wrong) and three is Bachelor episodes that don’t end IN…

The Bachelor Recap: Episode 2

We back! And believe you me, I wish I was recapping that glorious premiere night instead of this week’s poop stain of an episode. Back then all I had to worry about were bad puns and counting the actual number of red dresses (it was 12), while this week I’m frantically closing my blinds so my…

Sorry for the delay!

Hey guys! We’re so sorry we haven’t been able to recap the premiere of the newest season of The Bachelor yet.We were too busy killing it on our *~*gurlz vacay*~* to Cuba, where white rum is considered an acceptable substitute for internet access. We appreciate the fact that you even noticed our absence, and promise to…