Who knew the most challenging part of Dry January would be making it through the Bachelor without a bottle glass of wine? Not I, folks, not I. If I hear one more contestant gush about Arie’s “pillowy lips” I will kill myself. We open on a shot of a falcon as Arie stands over a…
I know we’re all still reeling from the shit storm that was Bachelor In Paradise this year and the moronic and devastating decision by ABC to pick a five-seasons-ago-has-been instead of a man chiseled by the gods, Peter Gap-Tooth (that’s his last name I checked). I’m not even going to mention He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named because it will…
You guys. This was the finale! We’re done! This is spring semester senior year and I am phoning it in. How much of this feature length film of an episode could I have skipped if we didn’t recap things I’ve already watched and preview things I’m about to watch? Chris Harrison approaches the “couples” to…
With the departure of Kristina, things are a little intense on the beach………..for everyone but Dean, who is now free to fingerbang D.Lo in the pool as much as he wants! The other couples are in pretty good shape too, which means it’s time for a new arrival to ruin everything. Cue Jaimi! You see,…
Damn, are we about ready to call it? These episodes are making me, a viewer, stir-crazy, and I’m not the one stuck on a fifty foot beach with a man who nicknamed himself “tickle monster.” Maybe it’s that after the shut down there were only ten days to film. Maybe it’s the complete 180 of…
Tonight in Purgatory, we watch a newcomer get bullied for eating seafood with her fingers, which is different I guess. We watch approximately seventeen different “love triangles” NOT unfold because these trash men can’t make a decision to save their lives. And we learn that even our dearest Wells can’t make us like puppets. At…
Last weekend, I was doing some shopping at my favorite affordable and ethical grocery chain, Trader Joe’s. A man passed me wearing a button-down shirt with none of the buttons fastened, exposing his entire chest to his fellow shoppers. It was weird but I moved on. As I reached for one of my favorite signature…
